I am happily married to a woman from the Philippines. This blog was created to help others successfully navigate the world of Filipina Dating.

Does Age Matter to Filipinas?

Keep in my that I’m simply writing my own observations and opinions based on my time spent in the Philippines. This is by no means scientifically verifiable information.

Most Filipinas, like Westerners, marry men that are about the same age. I think it is safe to say, however, that Filipinas are generally (compared to Westerners) more open to marrying older men. I’m close to forty, and I get admired by much younger women (women in their 20’s and sometimes even younger). Most Western women of the same age bracket would not pay any attention to me, though I’m not a bad looking guy.

I regularly see Filipinas with older Western men. Money does play a role here, but I think Filipinas are not unique in this regard. Most women want a man who can provide for their needs. An average looking guy in a doctor’s coat looks much more appealing than a super-hunk wearing a janitor’s uniform. This is a simple fact of life. We are all aware of ugly millionaires that marry supermodels.

The average Westerner’s salary makes him wealthy by Philippine standards. In other words, the fact that you are established and financially stable does play a role in your appeal to a Filipina. She knows that you can probably give her a life that she may otherwise not attain. My salary, for example, would put me in a very low income bracket in my home country; yet I am considered “rich” in the Philippines.

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We shouldn’t say that money is the sole factor. Many Filipinas also appreciate the maturity and stability that an older man brings to a relationship–this seems to be a cultural value. This is especially important if a woman is looking for husband material. I’ve noticed that even older Filipino men can marry younger women, especially if they are financially established.

Having said all of this, you need to be realistic–Filipinas are not blind. If you are in your fifties or sixties, don’t expect 18-year-old beauty pageant winners to be flooding you with emails. I’ve chatted with several Filipinas on dating websites, and some of them complain that the men who send messages are just too old.

You will probably find an attractive, younger woman–maybe much younger. Just temper your hopes with a healthy dose of realism. If you are up in years, be open to relationships with women who are a little closer to your age (within a couple of decades). I think you’ll have better results this way.

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Avoiding Scams: Part Two–The Money Scam

The Money Scam

As I’ve mentioned, most of the women one penpal/dating sites are honest. You must be prepared, however, to use some common sense and look out for con artists.

The obvious goal of scammers is to rob you of your hard-earned money. If they can fool you with a fake picture, they’ll use different stories to start the con game:

*A sick relative in the hospital
*Medical expenses
*Burial expenses
*Tuition
*Money for computer use

The above expenses are indeed very common here (many of my Filipino friends have experienced financial difficulties due to the above scenarios). Though life can be hard in the Philippines, it is foolish to give money to someone you have not met in person. You simply have no way to verify the truthfulness of her statements.

The scammers that I have met are usually not very patient. They’ll start asking for money fairly quickly in your “relationship” (within the first few chats). If your newfound friend quickly brings up money (or her difficult situation), then that should serve as a warning sign. Just tell her that you cannot help her until you’ve met in person and see how she responds. Con artists will quickly lose interest if they know you’re not sending money.

By the way–scammers seeking money will be quick to tell you that they are not after money. They will be very manipulative, talking about expenses and telling you “I don’t know what we’ll do”–hoping that you will offer to send money. Young women have called my cell phone and made up all kinds of stories (“I’m here alone and I’m sick–I can’t afford to go to the doctor”). If you are a nice guy like me, you naturally want to help others–especially a young woman who interest you. Don’t take the bait! A genuine, honest woman will not expect money from a complete stranger.

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Keep in mind that foreign money usually buys a lot of pesos. In other words, even requests for small amounts can still be a sign that you are getting conned. It is free money for her, so she doesn’t need to be ambitious in order to make more than she could from honest work. All she had to do was create a free email, download a free image, and start the con game.

There’s also not likely going to be any legal consequences for her actions. The government just doesn’t have the time to investigate this kind of small-time fraud. This simply ads to the temptation to get online and make a quick, risk-free buck.

Let’s say you’ve established trust over several weeks/months and you want to help her with communication expenses. Fine, but keep in mind that it should not be terribly expensive. Internet use runs about 20-30 pesos an hour, so a little money should go a long way. I’m mentioning this because scammers may exaggerate communication costs. I remember one scammer that told me she needed 15,000 pesos to rent a computer for the weekend (no one even does computer rental here, and you could just about buy one for that price). I had already figured her for a con artist at that point, so that request was just the final proof.

I’m not suggesting that you be paranoid–just cautious. Like it or not, part of your task will be to make sure your contacts are women who are honestly looking for a husband.

Remember, looking for a wife will require an investment of your time. Slowly but surely is the way to go.

Avoiding Scams: Part One–Fake Pictures

Unfortunately, there are con artists that would love to make a fool of you (and steal your money). The dating websites don’t say too much about it, and they do try to weed out fake members. Most of them have responded fairly quickly when I’ve reported a fake. Regardless, it is a very common problem that you are likely to encounter. Women simply join faster than than staff can monitor.

Sometimes the fake profile/picture even makes it to the website front page; the “featured profiles” (I spotted and reported this quite recently).

I’ve communicated with other men who’ve experienced the same thing. The con artists are sneaky and usually get a few male admirers before getting kicked off the website.

I’ll give you a couple of simple, free steps for sniffing out the fake picture scam. If you don’t follow my advice, you will regret it.

The Fake Picture Scam

I’ve seen all kinds of fake pictures on Filipina dating websites. Girls will use everything from pictures of their pretty friends to pictures of celebrities (yes, it happens–since most foreigners are not familiar with Filipina celebrities/models). I’ve had girls send pictures and forget to erase the model’s name from the image. I’ve been sent pictures that I later saw on the cover of magazines. There are millions of free images available to anyone with a computer.

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Sometimes they do this as part of a money scam (which I’ll discuss in the next article). Sometimes they are simply hoping to get a man’s attention or they are just playing games.

If the picture you see looks a little too professional or too good to be true, be very cautious. Here’s a few very simple things you can do to try to verify a picture’s authenticity:

1. Swap several pictures. She should be able to show you pictures of her with family, friends, etc. Filipinos love pictures. Even if she is poor and has no camera, chances are that she has friends with digital cameras and cellphone cameras. If she only has one to show you, be suspicious. Think about it–how could she have one super-glamour picture and yet be too poor to have anything else?

2. WEBCAM. This is the best way to verify that the girl you are talking to is indeed the same as the picture. Internet cafes with webcams are a little bit more expensive, but they are not too hard to find in the Philippines. If she consistently refuses to show herself on webcam, it is a really, really bad sign (especially if she lives in one of the major cities, like Manila, Davao, etc). Whenever this has happened to me it always turned out to be a scam.

3. Be Cautious with New Members. Go ahead and send messages to new members–they are, after all, probably the most eligible bachelorettes. Just keep in mind that brand new members are more likely to be fakes–not enough time has passed for them to be caught and kicked off the website.

Don’t trust anyone too quickly. Proceed with caution.

More on identifying scammers in the next article . . .