Category: Filipina Dating Websites

NOTE: Things have changed since I first wrote this article. Facebook has basically replaced Friendster as the most popular social media site. Friendster has completely changed its format, so it now worthless for the purposes I described here. Social media sites (like Facebook) in general are useful, though.  I have explained that in a new article: Filipina Scams: How to Avoid Con Artists

As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, there’s a decent chance that you’ll run into a few scammers while searching for a Filipina wife. For some Filipinas (or Filipinos), the temptation to make a quick, no-risk buck is just too great (read other articles labeled “scam” for more information).

There’s one simple step that is 100% free, very easy, and can help you identify Filipina scammers/con artists. It is not foolproof, but it is worth a shot. What is it? Friendster.com.

Friendster is the most popular website in the Philippines. It is a social networking site, similar to myspace or facebook. The vast majority of Filipinas will have a friendster account. You can use this to your advantage, doing a little background check on your new Filipina friend.

This is what I would recommend:

1. Set up your own friendster profile. It is free, and it will allow you to post more pictures of yourself for Filipinas to see. It will also allow you to make other friends in the Philippines, which you can definitely use to your advantage. I still recommend using dating websites for reasons that I’ve already mentioned.

The potential disadvantage here is that all of your Filipina prospects join your network and you run into jealousy issues. I would recommend that you simply be honest with all the young women you talk with—let them know you are making several friends online. Don’t tell a Filipina that you are only communicating with her if you are also talking with others. This is only fair—neither of you should be committing when you’ve never met in person. Remember, she is also free to entertain other online “suitors.” Honesty is the best policy.

If you want, you can create a blank account with no pictures and no friends. This will keep you anonymous and allow you to do some of the next steps (but it will not really help you make other friends, which I think is very helpful).

2. Most people exchange email pretty quickly in the process. Once she gives you her email, look up her profile in friendster (this is another reason to have your own account, so you can look up profiles). Don’t tell her you are doing this—see if what she told you matches up with what is in her account.

It is not unusual for Filipinas to be a year or two younger than what they post in a Filipna dating site. Maybe that is not such a big deal (unless she’s underage). BUT—you may find major inconsistencies. She may have pictures on her friendster profile with a boyfriend—this, of course would be a major problem. Checking out her profile is a reasonably good way to see if the Filipina is who she claims to be.

3. Some Filipinas will have more than one email address, so it is possible that the one she gives you is not her friendster address. If this happens, just ask her for her friendster account. Most Filipinas will have a friendster profile, and most will have no problem directing you to it.

You will occasionally come across Filipinas who don’t have a friendster account. This is rare, but it is not always a reason to be suspicious.

As you can see, this is a simple way to do a little background check. So far I haven’t met any scammers with elaborate friendster profiles (complete with friends, testimonies, etc). It takes several months to build up a network on friendster, and most scammers are in it for a quick buck.

4. Friendster will allow you to make friends with other Filipinas and Filipinos. It’s good if you have a few friends that are not romantically involved with you. These friends, for example, can let you know if a picture is that of a celebrity. They can give you some practical advice and help you learn about the culture.

As I’ve mentioned, most of the women one penpal/dating sites are honest. You must be prepared, however, to use some common sense and look out for con artists.

The obvious goal of scammers is to rob you of your hard-earned money. If they can fool you with a fake picture, they’ll use different stories to start the con game:

*A sick relative in the hospital
*Medical expenses
*Burial expenses
*Tuition
*Money for computer use

The above expenses are indeed very common here (many of my Filipino friends have experienced financial difficulties due to the above scenarios). Though life can be hard in the Philippines, it is foolish to give money to someone you have not met in person. You simply have no way to verify the truthfulness of her statements.

The scammers that I have met are usually not very patient. They’ll start asking for money fairly quickly in your “relationship” (within the first few chats). If your newfound friend quickly brings up money (or her difficult situation), then that should serve as a warning sign. Just tell her that you cannot help her until you’ve met in person and see how she responds. Con artists will quickly lose interest if they know you’re not sending money.

By the way–scammers seeking money will be quick to tell you that they are not after money. They will be very manipulative, talking about expenses and telling you “I don’t know what we’ll do”–hoping that you will offer to send money. Young women have called my cell phone and made up all kinds of stories (“I’m here alone and I’m sick–I can’t afford to go to the doctor”). If you are a nice guy like me, you naturally want to help others–especially a young woman who interest you. Don’t take the bait! A genuine, honest woman will not expect money from a complete stranger.

Keep in mind that foreign money usually buys a lot of pesos. In other words, even requests for small amounts can still be a sign that you are getting conned. It is free money for her, so she doesn’t need to be ambitious in order to make more than she could from honest work. All she had to do was create a free email, download a free image, and start the con game.

There’s also not likely going to be any legal consequences for her actions. The government just doesn’t have the time to investigate this kind of small-time fraud. This simply ads to the temptation to get online and make a quick, risk-free buck.

Let’s say you’ve established trust over several weeks/months and you want to help her with communication expenses. Fine, but keep in mind that it should not be terribly expensive. Internet use runs about 20-30 pesos an hour, so a little money should go a long way. I’m mentioning this because scammers may exaggerate communication costs. I remember one scammer that told me she needed 15,000 pesos to rent a computer for the weekend (no one even does computer rental here, and you could just about buy one for that price). I had already figured her for a con artist at that point, so that request was just the final proof.

I’m not suggesting that you be paranoid–just cautious. Like it or not, part of your task will be to make sure your contacts are women who are honestly looking for a husband.

Remember, looking for a wife will require an investment of your time. Slowly but surely is the way to go.

 

Unfortunately, there are con artists that would love to make a fool of you (and steal your money). The dating websites don’t say too much about it, and they do try to weed out fake members. Most of them have responded fairly quickly when I’ve reported a fake. Regardless, it is a very common problem that you are likely to encounter. Women simply join faster than than staff can monitor.

Sometimes the fake profile/picture even makes it to the website front page; the “featured profiles” (I spotted and reported this quite recently).

I’ve communicated with other men who’ve experienced the same thing. The con artists are sneaky and usually get a few male admirers before getting kicked off the website.

I’ll give you a couple of simple, free steps for sniffing out the fake picture scam. If you don’t follow my advice, you will regret it.

The Fake Picture Scam

I’ve seen all kinds of fake pictures on Filipina dating websites. Girls will use everything from pictures of their pretty friends to pictures of celebrities (yes, it happens–since most foreigners are not familiar with Filipina celebrities/models). I’ve had girls send pictures and forget to erase the model’s name from the image. I’ve been sent pictures that I later saw on the cover of magazines. There are millions of free images available to anyone with a computer.

Sometimes they do this as part of a money scam (which I’ll discuss in the next article). Sometimes they are simply hoping to get a man’s attention or they are just playing games.

If the picture you see looks a little too professional or too good to be true, be very cautious. Here’s a few very simple things you can do to try to verify a picture’s authenticity:

1. Swap several pictures. She should be able to show you pictures of her with family, friends, etc. Filipinos love pictures. Even if she is poor and has no camera, chances are that she has friends with digital cameras and cellphone cameras. If she only has one to show you, be suspicious. Think about it–how could she have one super-glamour picture and yet be too poor to have anything else?

2. WEBCAM. This is the best way to verify that the girl you are talking to is indeed the same as the picture. Internet cafes with webcams are a little bit more expensive, but they are not too hard to find in the Philippines. If she consistently refuses to show herself on webcam, it is a really, really bad sign (especially if she lives in one of the major cities, like Manila, Davao, etc). Whenever this has happened to me it always turned out to be a scam.

3. Be Cautious with New Members. Go ahead and send messages to new members–they are, after all, probably the most eligible bachelorettes. Just keep in mind that brand new members are more likely to be fakes–not enough time has passed for them to be caught and kicked off the website.

Don’t trust anyone too quickly. Proceed with caution.

More on identifying scammers in the next article . . .