I heard this line from a comedian:
“I’m not going to get married–I’m just going to find a woman I don’t like and buy her a house.”
He was referring to the common experience men have in a divorce settlement.
I’ve previously mentioned the filipino culture when it comes to money and sharing–you’ll have to share some of your money with her family. But there’s something I’ve thought about:
Western men who marry Filipinas have a lower divorce rate than those who marry Westerners. Marriages to women from the Philippines have about an 80% success rate, compared to the 50% divorce rate among Americans. So, even though you’ll have to share more of your money, you’re still less likely to have someone divorce you and take half of your stuff. That’s a better deal as far as I’m concerned.
There is still a stigma associated with using websites to find a foreign spouse. I guess this is based on the “mail order bride” idea.
I personally believe “mail order bride” is a misnomer. I don’t think anyone ever “ordered” a bride in the same way he would order a product. This defies all common sense.
Decades ago, companies such as Cherry Blossoms sent out magazines with pictures of foreign women. Even then, the idea was to provide an opportunity for correspondence–not “buying” or “ordering” a bride.
Technology has radically changed things, and websites have taken the place of magazines. The stigma still remains, which is unfortunate. Dating websites are just another way for men and women to find each other. Some websites simply specialize in connecting Western men to foreign women. In my opinion, this has nothing to do with “ordering” a bride.
Keep in my that I’m simply writing my own observations and opinions based on my time spent in the Philippines. This is by no means scientifically verifiable information.
Most Filipinas, like Westerners, marry men that are about the same age. I think it is safe to say, however, that Filipinas are generally (compared to Westerners) more open to marrying older men. I’m close to forty, and I get admired by much younger women (women in their 20’s and sometimes even younger). Most Western women of the same age bracket would not pay any attention to me, though I’m not a bad looking guy.
I regularly see Filipinas with older Western men. Money does play a role here, but I think Filipinas are not unique in this regard. Most women want a man who can provide for their needs. An average looking guy in a doctor’s coat looks much more appealing than a super-hunk wearing a janitor’s uniform. This is a simple fact of life. We are all aware of ugly millionaires that marry supermodels.
The average Westerner’s salary makes him wealthy by Philippine standards. In other words, the fact that you are established and financially stable does play a role in your appeal to a Filipina. She knows that you can probably give her a life that she may otherwise not attain. My salary, for example, would put me in a very low income bracket in my home country; yet I am considered “rich” in the Philippines.
We shouldn’t say that money is the sole factor. Many Filipinas also appreciate the maturity and stability that an older man brings to a relationship–this seems to be a cultural value. This is especially important if a woman is looking for husband material. I’ve noticed that even older Filipino men can marry younger women, especially if they are financially established.
Having said all of this, you need to be realistic–Filipinas are not blind. If you are in your fifties or sixties, don’t expect 18-year-old beauty pageant winners to be flooding you with emails. I’ve chatted with several Filipinas on dating websites, and some of them complain that the men who send messages are just too old.
You will probably find an attractive, younger woman–maybe much younger. Just temper your hopes with a healthy dose of realism. If you are up in years, be open to relationships with women who are a little closer to your age (within a couple of decades). I think you’ll have better results this way.