General Information | Filipina Dating; Filipino Women

Does Age Matter to a Filipina? (part two)

There’s a follow-up thought that I need to ad to my first article regarding Filipinas and age. There are some societal/environmental differences that you should also consider.

By the time an American girl is 17, she’s probably only concerned about her report card or which Britney Spears CD to buy. A 17-year-old Filipina, on the other hand, may very well be the breadwinner for her family.

Filipinas graduate high school by age 16. If a young woman is able to go to college (many cannot afford to), she’ll probably graduate by the time she’s 20. Otherwise, she’ll look for work. As you can imagine, this does speed up the process of maturity. You may just meet a 18-year-old who has been working for the past two or three years.

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Thus a Filipina’s perspectives are far different than the before-mentioned American teen. She’s too busy surviving to spend her twenties “finding herself.” This level of maturity makes some Filipinas more prepared for marriage than their Western sisters.

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Does Age Matter to Filipinas?

Keep in my that I’m simply writing my own observations and opinions based on my time spent in the Philippines. This is by no means scientifically verifiable information.

Most Filipinas, like Westerners, marry men that are about the same age. I think it is safe to say, however, that Filipinas are generally (compared to Westerners) more open to marrying older men. I’m close to forty, and I get admired by much younger women (women in their 20’s and sometimes even younger). Most Western women of the same age bracket would not pay any attention to me, though I’m not a bad looking guy.

I regularly see Filipinas with older Western men. Money does play a role here, but I think Filipinas are not unique in this regard. Most women want a man who can provide for their needs. An average looking guy in a doctor’s coat looks much more appealing than a super-hunk wearing a janitor’s uniform. This is a simple fact of life. We are all aware of ugly millionaires that marry supermodels.

The average Westerner’s salary makes him wealthy by Philippine standards. In other words, the fact that you are established and financially stable does play a role in your appeal to a Filipina. She knows that you can probably give her a life that she may otherwise not attain. My salary, for example, would put me in a very low income bracket in my home country; yet I am considered “rich” in the Philippines.

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We shouldn’t say that money is the sole factor. Many Filipinas also appreciate the maturity and stability that an older man brings to a relationship–this seems to be a cultural value. This is especially important if a woman is looking for husband material. I’ve noticed that even older Filipino men can marry younger women, especially if they are financially established.

Having said all of this, you need to be realistic–Filipinas are not blind. If you are in your fifties or sixties, don’t expect 18-year-old beauty pageant winners to be flooding you with emails. I’ve chatted with several Filipinas on dating websites, and some of them complain that the men who send messages are just too old.

You will probably find an attractive, younger woman–maybe much younger. Just temper your hopes with a healthy dose of realism. If you are up in years, be open to relationships with women who are a little closer to your age (within a couple of decades). I think you’ll have better results this way.

Should You Pay to Join a Penpal/Dating Website?

So, should you pay to join on of the “penpal” websites?

Before I answer this, let me explain that I make money/commission if you join one of the sites listed on this blog. You probably already figured that out, but I just want to be 100% up front. If you do decide to join one, I would appreciate you using my link and giving me the extra pocket change. I’m a decent, hardworking guy who does non-profit work in the Philippines. I’m also going to try to limit my banner ads to sites which are very well established (some of which I have used personally).

OK, now on to my advice . . .

Well, obviously the ideal would be for you to live in the Philippines and just meet women the “low-tech” way. Another great option would be if you have personal connections here that can introduce you to someone. But I’m assuming that is not an option for you.
You can meet women through social networking sites such as Facebook. It’s free, but it is not very efficient.

There are two primary advantages to using penpal/dating webites:

First and foremost, the women on penpal/dating sites are single and looking for a foreign spouse. Finding this combination on general social networks is relatively difficult compared to a dating website. By joining a dating website, you’ll be connecting with women who want to marry a foreigner–women who are motivated enough to become members of the site. For this reason, I have used paid sights even while staying in the Philippines. The random girl I meet is fairly likely to have a boyfriend/husband, unlike website members.

Secondly, you will be contacted by young women if you join a dating site. In other words, the searching will work both ways–something that will not likely happen on social networks. A Filipina is unlikely to start sending emails to random single men on Facebook.

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Yes, the dating sites cost money (there are a few free sites, but paid sites usually have more members and are much more user-friendly). But if you don’t have one or two hundred bucks to spare, you have no business wasting a Filipina’s time (remember, plane fare will cost you more than that).

Here’s my advice for joining a site:

1. Look around: browse some members and see if you like the website. Websites put their most attractive members on the front page, so do some searching and get a better idea of the overall membership.

2. Pay 6 months to a year in advance (if that is an option). This is a much better deal financially than monthly memberships, and it may take some time to find the right girl. Yearly membership rates put your monthly costs at about half that of month-to-month payments. Remember, you are making a long-term investment if you are serious. You are not likely to marry the first girl that you send an email to.

3. Post a picture. You’ll get a lot more responses–besides, she’ll eventually see what you look like anyway–better to speed up the process.

4. Be 100% honest about your age, marital status, children etc. Women will be very understanding of your situation, but be truthful from the start.

5. Correspond with several women. You’ve paid to have access to all the website’s members–take advantage of it. Get to know several women and don’t be too quick to choose just one.

6. Read the fine print. Some Dating websites will adverstise free memberships, but this can be a bit deceptive. In other words, the site will allow you to set up a profile, but you have to pay to read or send messages. This is a way for the website to pull you in–you’ll get an email informing you that you have messages, but you have to pay to read them. Just keep this in mind when deciding on a website–plan on paying something upfront.