Category: General Information

Filipina Dating a Foreigner: The Five Greatest Challenges

Wedding_rings

I am extremely happy with the life that my Filipina wife and I have together.  I can’t imagine being with anyone else or being married to someone of my own race/culture.  Our love is a beautiful thing that has enhanced my life in ways I could never fully describe.

But I never want to present being married to a Pinay as some kind of panacea or fairy tale.  All marriages require work, and mine is no exception.  Marrying a woman from the Philippines, in fact, will come with some unique challenges that you wouldn’t face if you just dated someone from your own country.  Here are a few that come to mind:

Challenge #1: Choosing with Limited Information

This isn’t always a big factor for those of us who have spent time in the Philippines and dated while living/visiting there.  But most Filipino-American couples first meet online.  Usually this means the man joined a dating website (like Christian Filipina–the one I recommend), met a pretty Filipina, and started communicating via email and chat.  This works out well for most of the couples that I’ve met, but it is arguably more risky than being able to meet/date in more traditional or conventional ways.  In other words, the men usually have to make a decision based on very limited face-to-face time with their girlfriends.

Challenge #2: The Visa Process

Let’s say you do find a great woman (as so many do) and are 100% sure you want to marry her.  The next challenge is enduring the process of getting her spousal/fiancee visa so she can move to your country and (eventually) become a citizen there.  The process is doable but it does require a lot of patience on your part.  The government agencies involved get your tax dollars regardless of their inefficiencies and can be frustrating to deal with.  I have recommended a service to help you do things correctly, but it takes a few months even under the best circumstances.

RECOMMENDED: I recommend Christian Filipina for those who are serious about finding love in the Philippines.

Challenge #3: The Distance

The most difficult thing about being married to a Filipina is you are always going to be far away from either her family or yours.  This usually means being far from hers because of the better opportunities available in America (or other Western countries).  There are exceptions–guys who decide to live as expats in the Philippines.  Either way you’re going to live halfway across the world from someone’s family.  Family ties are extremely important in the Filipino culture, so you can imagine how difficult this can be.  Being able to chat via Skype does help, but the dilemma is still there regardless.

Challenge #4: Money Issues

Money issues are probably the biggest cause of divorce worldwide. This issue can be especially challenging if you’re married to a Filipina because sharing resources with family members is deeply ingrained in Filipino culture.  This is a potential source of conflict if the husband and wife don’t have good communication with each other or healthy boundaries with family members back in the Philippines.  The couple has to find a balance of sharing with family while making sure they are not putting themselves in a bad financial situation.

Challenge #5 Cultural Differences

A Filipina and a Westerner have grown up in two completely different cultural contexts.  Their respective worldviews have been shaped by factors that go back centuries.  This can also be a source of conflict if one of them is xenophobic or can’t learn how to be open to another point of view.

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

These are just a few of the most significant challenges that come to mind when I think of my own marriage and the other couples that my wife and I have met.  Here’s the good news: I can honestly say it has been 100% worth it for me.  I think there’s a good chance you’ll feel the same way, but be sure you are going into any relationship with eyes wide open.

RECOMMENDED: REMITLY

Perks of Dating a Filipina

You may be thinking about meeting, dating, or marrying a woman from the Philippines. Romantic relationships are serious business in my opinion and I’m not going to try to convince to you pursue a relationship with someone halfway across the globe.   I’m just writing this to give you my perspective as someone who is happily married to a Filipina.

Filipino women (more appropriately called Filipinas) have a lot of perks to offer if you are seriously considering a long-term relationship that would lead to marriage. I’m going to repeat some things that I’ve previously shared on this blog or the sake of an easier read (some of my posts from previous years were bit short or choppy). Anyway, here are a few reasons you may want to consider marrying someone from the Philippines:

Perk #1: Filipinas are Beautiful

The Philippines is home to some of the most breathtaking natural beauty known to man: beaches, waterfalls, and all kinds of natural wonders can be found there. But there’s something besides the natural landscape that’s attractive to the eyes: I’m talking about feminine beauty.   Men from the West are often struck by the physical attractiveness of the women there. They tend to have slim, petite figures. Most of them have naturally tan skin along with dark hair and eyes (the typical Filipina is often said to have “exotic beauty”).

Beauty is, as they say, only skin deep. Good thing that there’s a lot more to be said about women from the Philippines.

Perk #2: Filipinas are Good in English

People in the Philippines start studying English in grade school and are used to watching movies (and TV shows) from the West. Their proficiency in English varies according to education and other factors, but you should be able to find a woman who can communicate with you (and her ability to do so will only get better as she practices her English). Here’s another thing to consider: the Filipino accent is very pleasing to the ear when compared to other parts of Asia.

Perk #3: Filipinas are God Fearing

The Philippines is a predominantly Roman Catholic country and religion is deeply ingrained in their culture. You may not find a woman with this outlook on life in other parts of the world. Women from Russia or China may be coming from an atheistic background. People from other parts of Asia may follow Buddhism.

Men seeking women from Asia are usually looking for marriage based on traditional Judeo-Christian values, and similar religious beliefs is one reason they look to the Philippines. Women from the Philippines generally have a sense of devotion to God and the church.

RECOMMENDED: I recommend Christian Filipina for those who are serious about finding love in the Philippines.

This is not to say that Filipinas are fanatical about the Catholic Church.   They are open other expressions of Christianity (Protestant, etc.) and will usually join your church once they move to the States. It is not uncommon, in fact, to meet Filipinos who are already members of non-Catholic groups (Protestant missionaries have been in the country for decades).

Perk #4: Filipinas are Marriage and Family Oriented

Family is extremely important in the Filipino culture. People from the Philippines believe in putting family members ahead of themselves and doing everything in their power to help their loved ones. You’ll find that Filipinas are incredibly selfless and generous when it comes to their families.

Filipino culture also puts an extremely high priority on marriage and children. Most Filipinas dream of settling down with a good man so they can start a family. They take romantic relationships very seriously because they see it as preparation for marriage. Once married they usually become faithful, loving wives and dedicated mothers.

Perk #5: Filipinas are Open to Marrying Older Men

Another advantage of dating women from the Philippines is you can find younger women who are interested in you. This is especially nice if you are middle-aged but are still interested in having children. Women who date older men are often labeled as “gold diggers,” but this is unfair and judgmental. The truth is that Filipinas tend to look for the characteristics that an older partner can offer: maturity, stability, etc. This outlook goes back to some of the issues I’ve already mentioned: they are searching for life partners, not just boyfriends or flings.

These are just a few reasons that you may want to consider Filipino women (Filipinas) in your quest for a life-long, loving relationship. Living with someone from a different country and culture can be challenging, but may Western men (yours truly included) can attest that it is worth it.

If you are interested in meeting a woman from the Philippines you could always start by joining a website. I’d recommend Christian Filipina because I believe this website does the best job of screening their members and making sure they are sincere. You can just meet them through social media, but your chances of success will be improved by joining a site specifically designed for facilitating dating and marriage.

Filipina Dating

heartI started this website quite a few years ago and I think it’s time for a bit of an update.

I want to summarize (and restate) some of the things I’ve said already in a longer, more comprehensive post.

Here’s your ultimate guide to Filipina dating. I’ll share the step you should consider if you plan to meet a woman from the Philippines online.

Step 1: Choose a Good Website

I would personally recommend Christian Filipina because I’ve communicated with the creator/owner of the website and he’s a good guy. I think he really does his best to make sure that members have a good experience. I also believe the name and theme of this particular site tends to draw the kind of woman you want: a conservative, God-fearing Filipina.

I don’t believe I ever encountered a scammer on Christian Filipina back when I was still searching for love. Having said that, you will have to take some cautionary steps regardless of what website you use. That brings me to my next step.

Step 2: Watch for Scammers

You’ll hear a lot about Pinay scammers of you search about Filipna dating on Google or YouTube. Some make too much of this phenomenon; others make too little of it. The bottom line is that part of your task will be to weed out those who are misrepresenting themselves (usually for the sake of financial gain). It isn’t that difficult if you’ll just do a few things:

*Do a little social media background check on the girl you are chatting with. She should give you her Facebook information so you can check here profile out. You should see several “natural” pictures–photos with friends, family, classmates, etc. Even those who are not rich tend to be active on social media, so it may be a “red flag” if she directs you to a profile that doesn’t have much on it.

There are also several social profile searches you can use: just Google “free social profile search.” Search her name and/or email address and you should get some idea of whether or not she is who she claims to be. You may also want to put her email address in Google (or other search engines) and just see what comes up.

*Do an image search. Tineye is a great search engine you can use to find out if a Filipina you want to meet or date is using a genuine picture. If she’s using celebrity/model photos you’ll see that pretty quickly. You may also want to do a Google image search on her name and just see what comes up.

*Use video chat. Services like Skype are great for two reasons. First, you’ll be able to see her and verify that she’s a living, breathing woman that looks like the pictures she’s sent you. More importantly, I’ve found that it’s much easier to get a sense of chemistry when you are actually talking (instead of typing).  It’s kind of the next best thing to talking to a Filipina in person.

RECOMMENDED: I recommend Christian Filipina for those who are serious about finding love in the Philippines.

Understand this: internet cafes with webcams are now widely available in the Philippines. If she refuses to do video chat I can promise you she a scammer. It’s one thing if she is occasionally unable to do video chat–but don’t trust her if she always makes excuses not to be on camera.

*Very important: never, never, never give money to someone you haven’t met in person! Don’t blame me or anyone else if you ignore this rule and get ripped off. I’ve heard quite a few testimonies of guys that have started sending money to a girl in the Philippines only to discover that she was using him.  These are the nightmare stories that give Filipina dating a bad name and ruin it for the sincere ones.  Women who ask for money or start giving you “hints” about their desperate situations are not worth the trouble. I would advise you to simply cut off communication if a Filipina asks for money (directly or indirectly).

One more thing: I have found that the scammers who are out for money are usually not that patient.  She’ll show her true colors pretty quickly if fleecing you is her only goal.  Scammers lose interest pretty quickly if they find out you won’t send any money or gifts before meeting in person.

Step 3: Cautiously Build Friendship and Trust

Let’s say you have met a girl that seems sincere and genuine. Chat with her as often as you can and build the friendship. Do not profess your love to her or start making promises about engagement/marriage if you haven’t met her in person. You may think you love her, but there are just too many things you will not know without meeting her in person.

In the meantime you can get to know each other through frequent chatting and emailing.

I’ll interject something here: you may be wondering how many girls you should chat with at once and how many you should plan to meet. I can’t give you a cut-and-dry answer for this. You’ll probably start by contacting more than one Filipina and see who responds. I know guys who narrowed it down to one “prospect” before visiting the Philippines. I’ve known of others who plan to meet more than one and making a decision once they visit the country. Either way can work and you’ll have to decide what is best for you. My main advice is just to be completely honest with the women you are chatting with regarding your intentions.

Step 4: Plan to Meet Her Within a Reasonable Time Frame

Let’s say you have narrowed your search down and believe you have found the girl of your dreams. I would encourage you to book your ticket to the Philippines and try to meet her as soon as practically possible (within a few weeks). As I’ve mentioned, this is the only way you’ll know for sure she’s the right one for you.

I’ve encountered men who have chatted with Filipinas for months or years without any “end game” in mind: no definite plans to go to the Philippines. Don’t do this if you are really serious about love and marriage–go meet her! Don’t waste your and her time!

Filipina Dating: Summing it Up

Hopefully these tips have helped you. I feel very grateful to be married to a Filipina and I think there are plenty of lovely, sincere women in the Philippines who would make excellent wives. A little wisdom and common sense will go a long way in finding the right one for you.